Ever wished you hadn’t chosen a certain writing topic? Sometimes, you have a bright idea, and you start writing, full of hope, and then suddenly… you realise it’s just not gonna work: the premise is fundamentally flawed. Much to your regret, no matter what you do, your story or poem is doomed.
Then again, you might have a topic – like ‘Regrets’ – thrust upon you by the evil leader of your writers’ group, and get home and think, ‘What on earth was she thinking? How are we meant to write anything about THAT?’
We all have regrets in life. And, of course, an easy response to the topic would be a memoir of a time when you did, or didn’t, do something, then regretted the decision later. The advantage of a memoir is that you already know the characters and the plotline, so you can concentrate on powerful use of language to tell your story in the most effective way.
The main trouble with this idea is: regret is painful. And maybe you don’t want to write a sad piece, revealing to the world how you did something unkind or foolish. But you don’t have to. You could write about a risk you took which you don’t regret because it paid off in the end.
Or your ‘memoir’ could be pure fiction, recalling your regrets about the time you won a million and spent the lot in six crazy months, or how you regret turning down the opportunity to go on the first manned mission to Jupiter.
If you prefer to write short stories or play-scripts, your character could regret something. Try one of these opening lines:
I’ll always regret opening the last box…
Marion had always felt she was too sensible to waste time on regrets.
‘If you walk out of that door, you’ll regret it, Simon. I mean it!’
The letter began, ‘I regret to inform you…’
There was only one reason to regret Mr Crawley’s death…
Alternatively, you could try a rewrite of a well-known story, where the character doesn’t take the action which led to a happy ending in the original version. Perhaps Cinderella keeps a good eye on the clock and leaves the ball sensibly at half past eleven. Or Elizabeth Bennet decides reluctantly to marry Mr Collins, her odious clergyman cousin, so when she falls in love with Mr Darcy, it’s too late.
But if your floor is covered with crumpled papers and you’re getting nowhere, don’t despair. Try writing a list of ‘20 reasons why I regret…‘ something – as long as it’s not ‘…joining a writers’ group!’
Or simply choose another topic and write about that instead. We’re quite happy if you turn up with a piece of Star Wars fan-fiction, a strange ranting piece about your neighbour’s dustbins or a poem about your old teddy bear. As long as it’s new writing, not some old piece you dusted off and added ‘regret’ in the middle to fit the topic. That’s not the idea at all.
And if you really feel you can’t write anything this time? Come to the meeting anyway – or you may regret it.
Next meeting: Tuesday 17 March, 7pm-9pm, Ryde Library.