Author: Admin

I’m sorry this ‘meeting’ is late. Having to put Island Writers on hold suddenly was a shock, but it had to be done then, before it was too late. I’m investigating online meetings, but I was too late to sort anything out for Tuesday night.

Are you sensing a theme here? Yup – this week, it’s Lateness.

What effects can lateness have?

Missing a chance, losing a job, spoiling an event or activity for other people, breaking up with a friend or partner, being unable to prevent something bad happening… could arriving late ever cause a positive effect?

How do we feel when we think we’re going to be late?

Emotionally – irritated, angry, worried, nervous, terrified – or relieved?

Physically – heart pounding, sweating, tightness in throat or chest, panting or gasping for breath, feeling sick…

How do we behave differently when we’re worried we’ll be late?

Decide to skip part of our normal routine e.g. buying a newspaper on the way to work, move more quickly, do things carelessly and have accidents, treat people rudely, forget items we’d intended to take…

So, what causes lateness?

Lack of consideration for others. We keep people waiting after an agreed meeting time (oops!) because we put our own preferences and convenience ahead of theirs, and see no reason why we shouldn’t.

Disorganisation. We intend to arrive somewhere or complete an activity by a certain cut-off point, but ‘somehow’ we don’t manage to achieve it – because we don’t organise and plan adequately. There’s an element of inconsiderateness here, too, but not always – being too late to catch a train does not inconvenience the other passengers, only you, as you arrive panting on the platform to see the train disappearing round the bend.

Unwillingness. Sometimes the conflict between duty and personal wish causes lateness. We know we’ve got to do it, but we can’t bring ourselves to get started – we delay for just one more thing… and another. Have you seen those t-shirts that say, ‘I’m sorry I’m late. I didn’t want to come.’?

Luck. We make perfectly adequate plans, but on this occasion, the universe decides to thwart our wishes. We allow plenty of time for the task, but an emergency crops up. We catch the bus on time, but there’s a delay on the journey.

3-MINUTE EXERCISE: Make a list of words and phrases connected with lateness.

Running late, get the sack, better late than never, see you later, overslept…

15-MINUTE EXERCISE: Write a piece (short story/poem/playscript/memoir/whatever) which includes someone who is desperate not to arrive late.

Looking forward to seeing what you all come up with… or have I left it too late?

Oh, I suppose you’d all like an Assignment as well…

ASSIGNMENT TITLE: Sticky Stuff

Ever wished you hadn’t chosen a certain writing topic? Sometimes, you have a bright idea, and you start writing, full of hope, and then suddenly… you realise it’s just not gonna work: the premise is fundamentally flawed. Much to your regret, no matter what you do, your story or poem is doomed.

Then again, you might have a topic – like ‘Regrets’ – thrust upon you by the evil leader of your writers’ group, and get home and think, ‘What on earth was she thinking? How are we meant to write anything about THAT?’

We all have regrets in life. And, of course, an easy response to the topic would be a memoir of a time when you did, or didn’t, do something, then regretted the decision later. The advantage of a memoir is that you already know the characters and the plotline, so you can concentrate on powerful use of language to tell your story in the most effective way.

The main trouble with this idea is: regret is painful. And maybe you don’t want to write a sad piece, revealing to the world how you did something unkind or foolish. But you don’t have to. You could write about a risk you took which you don’t regret because it paid off in the end.

Or your ‘memoir’ could be pure fiction, recalling your regrets about the time you won a million and spent the lot in six crazy months, or how you regret turning down the opportunity to go on the first manned mission to Jupiter.

If you prefer to write short stories or play-scripts, your character could regret something. Try one of these opening lines:

I’ll always regret opening the last box…

Marion had always felt she was too sensible to waste time on regrets.

‘If you walk out of that door, you’ll regret it, Simon. I mean it!’

The letter began, ‘I regret to inform you…’

There was only one reason to regret Mr Crawley’s death…

Alternatively, you could try a rewrite of a well-known story, where the character doesn’t take the action which led to a happy ending in the original version. Perhaps Cinderella keeps a good eye on the clock and leaves the ball sensibly at half past eleven. Or Elizabeth Bennet decides reluctantly to marry Mr Collins, her odious clergyman cousin, so when she falls in love with Mr Darcy, it’s too late.

But if your floor is covered with crumpled papers and you’re getting nowhere, don’t despair. Try writing a list of ‘20 reasons why I regret…‘ something – as long as it’s not ‘…joining a writers’ group!’

Or simply choose another topic and write about that instead. We’re quite happy if you turn up with a piece of Star Wars fan-fiction, a strange ranting piece about your neighbour’s dustbins or a poem about your old teddy bear. As long as it’s new writing, not some old piece you dusted off and added ‘regret’ in the middle to fit the topic. That’s not the idea at all.

And if you really feel you can’t write anything this time? Come to the meeting anyway – or you may regret it.

Next meeting: Tuesday 17 March, 7pm-9pm, Ryde Library.

If our latest creative writing assignment, ‘Bells,’ has had you staggering around like poor Quasimodo, crying out, “The bells! The bells!” then here are some suggestions to help you.

Church bells offer a range of ‘ap-pealing’ story ideas, whether they’re ringing for a Sunday service, New Year, a wedding or funeral, being used as an alarm for an invasion or a flood, or just rung for practice.

As we’re members of Island Writers, the bell in John Donne’s prose work, Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions (why are poets so crap at choosing titles?) may have come to mind:

“No man is an island, entire of itself… any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

The tolling church bell, signifying a death, could vary; in some parts of England, the bell would be tolled nine times for a man, six times for a woman, and three for a child, so people could tell which type of person had died.

Of course, they needn’t be church bells.

There are school bells and ship’s bells, marking the time through the day;

doorbells, alarm clock bells, bicycle bells and fire-bells, rung for attention;

bells worn by animals, such as cowbells in Alpine pastures, tiny bells on a cat’s collar or jingle bells on Santa’s reindeer;

or even bluebells or diving bells, which aren’t rung at all.

So, why are your bells ringing? Who’s ringing them? What would happen if they weren’t rung or didn’t work? Perhaps it is their absence in a foreign land which will stir you to create a poem or story.

Whatever you decide, ‘brrring’ it with you to our next meeting, which, as I’ve already ‘tolled’ you, is February 18th.